Travel Writing

Bath

 

If it is class and elegance you are looking for then Bath is the place for you. The range of fantastic historic buildings and classical museums and galleries is extravagant, there is simply no place as grand and classy in England, than the beautiful Bath - fact! The small but certainly not desolate city is compacted with 83,992+ of welcoming people, including a variety of different cultures which makes Bath even more special. Entertainment in Bath is wonderful. Bath holds cute cinema viewings in the well-known Victoria Park where couples, families and friends all come along and enjoy the film being shown and the wonders of other peoples company in oh sweet harmony. Unforgettably, Bath only has one cinema and it's fantastic to notice all the people from Bath, who you've never seen before, engage in the great film which you're both sat viewing, it just makes the experience seem a whole lot better. The terrific entertainment of buskers on the side of streets, singing, dancing and playing musical instuments is phenominal, Bath is full of such superb talent. Compared to cities such as Bristol, the city where rush hour is an understatment, the modest Bath will never fail to get you to work or school on time.  For you more well off readers, Bath is a exceptional place for you to experience high branded shopping trips, nights in 4-5 star hotels and trips to amazing historic attractions which people from all over the world endure in. This is what us Bath people take for granted. The valuable sites we endure in everyday but we simply do not take as much great pleasure in these attractions where as other cultures do, its extraordinary.

CATS: The Mystery

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CATS: The Mystery
Is it only a dog which your cat fears?


You must be a cat person if you clicked on this article with the noun ‘cats’ in. Don’t you just love the crazy balls of fluff, ‘cause I certainly do. Funnily enough, perhaps you shouldn't be reading this…

I have four cats, a mummy, two sisters and one brother. I didn’t even know the mummy was pregnant and I went into my mum’s room one morning to find four cute little baba’s in her closet, blood everywhere, all over her clothes and all over the floor, glorious. Phew, I was sure glad she didn’t give birth in my wardrobe. Anyway, they’ve grown up a bit now; they wander down the street, they poop in other people’s gardens –shhh. (I can’t help it, what do you expect me to do!) But recently I’ve become ever so afraid of letting them out of my sight.

It all happened on a summer’s day. My sisters and I were tidying the garden, mowing the lawn, watering the plants like you do, when my sister left the garden gate open. We went inside ‘cause, you know, when your parents tell you to do something most of the time you never finish what they actually asked you to do. We watched a bit of TV and being the eldest - ahem, I ordered my sisters to go back out into the garden to finish what we had started. We left the living room and as I was just about to touch the back door, some massive thing scampered past me, so fast that I couldn’t even see what it was! It ran upstairs and I followed only to find it was a D.O.G., a staffy to be precise. I was almost crying, I screamed at the top of my voice ‘MUUUUM, THERE’S A DOG IN THE HOUSE, IT’S GONNA KILL THE CATS’. My mum flew to where I was and dashed up the stairs screaming ‘SHOO’ ‘SHOO’ (as if that’s gonna get a dog out the house mum!) The noise was frightful, I was absolutely petrified, so afraid I locked myself in the living room, I was shaking, crying, I was blocking out the noise whilst I had my head in my hands, I felt as if I was gonna have a heart attack. If you truly love your cats you would understand. You would question why I didn’t run to help them but the thought was too brutal, I generally could not move, I just had to sit and wait for it to pass by, the thought of a dog grabbing ANY cat sends trembles down my spine and I knew I could not stand to watch it.

The dog ran out. My cats were fine, thank GOD. The two sisters were up on a window and the brother was hid in the shed. But guess what? The Mum ran off, haha. She simply did not give a flying dog about her children. But then again, I’m being hypocritical moaning about her when I did exactly the same!

THREE. DAYS. LATER.

I was at home. Alone. I shut the gate and I locked the back door and I wasn’t even thinking about the cats, that was three days ago, I was over the complete breakdown I had and I was moving on with my life. I was only locking the backdoor and shutting the gate in case someone was gonna walk in the house whilst I was getting in the shower… 

When I got out the shower I ran upstairs to my room to get changed, when milliseconds later I heard the most ghastly, alarming noise coming from downstairs and it was just like the noise I had heard three days ago. I threw myself to my door, pushing my body against it to slam it shut, I didn’t know what to do, and I only had a towel on and no one was in the house! Noooo, it’s happening again. I was shaking and crying. 'Should I run downstairs?' I thought to myself and I opened my window as wide as I could and I screeched at the top of my voice so loud it was damaging ‘HELP, HELP’. I don’t know what I was thinking. How was someone going to help me? Anyone would have thought there was a fire or someone was coming to get me! Luckily enough help came, my two sisters came strolling ever so slowly with their friends down the road. There’s me screaming ‘HELP, HELP ME’ and they hear me… Still strolling. Still slooooowly strolling. They shout back ‘WOT?’. (You know what 10-12 year olds are like nowadays). I’m still crying at this point and yelling and they simply do not care until I exclaim ‘THERE’S A DOG IN THE HOUSE!’ My sisters and their friends then galloped up the road, shouting 'THE CATS ARE GONNA DIE'. Obviously they’re more interested in the cats than me, heh. 
I flung clothes on and peered around my bedroom door to find glass everywhere, my mum's large glass ornament had shattered all over the landing. Uh-Oh. I tip toed over the glass whilst wiping my tears. I thought my cats were dead. But how did the dog get in the house? The back door was shut and so was the gate, there was simply no chance it could have got in and out unless it could open the door...

So what scared my cats?


  

Blog Analysis

'The Phone Bazinga is a phenomenon which states that no matter how quiet and calm they currently are, your kids will suddenly be in your face and, most likely, screaming, the moment you make a phone call. It’s 100% true. There’s a secret Bat-Signal that goes off the second you say“Hello,” activating a molecule in kid brains where they lose their minds.

What’s that? Dad’s on the phone! We must yell at the top of our lungs!

I hear Mom is calling grandma! This is the perfect time to unload all those questions we’ve been saving up the past two hours and ask her right now!'

 

This blog post talks about how children always seem to speak the loudest when their parents are on the phone. The post is written in a low-frequency lexis which eases the reading of the audience. There are different sentence structures used and this sets out the atmosphere of what the blogger is trying to say. The blogger speaks to the audience using imperative sentences such as, 'Your kids will suddenly be in your face' using the word 'you' makes the reader feel more involved and makes them think about their family situations which relate them to the text. The blogger uses humour as he mentions 'Bat-Signal' which goes off in the childs head, this is metaphorical.

'You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown' - Lunchtime Monologue

This monologue is from a 1967 musical comedy 'You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown'. It is based on characters from a comic strip created by Charles M. Schulz. It is popular for it's small cast and simple staging. It is about a boy called, Charlie Brown.

'All I have to do is stand up...I'm standing up!...I'm sitting down. I'm a coward. I'm so much of a coward, she wouldn't even think of looking at me. She hardly ever does look at me. In fact, I can't remember her ever looking at me. Why shouldn't she look at me? Is there any reason in the world why she shouldn't look at me? Is she so great, and I'm so small, that she can't spare one little moment?...SHE'S LOOKING AT ME!! SHE'S LOOKING AT ME!!(he puts his lunchbag over his head.)...Lunchtime is among the worst time of the day for me. If that little red-headed girl is looking at me with this stupid bag over my head she must think I'm the biggest fool alive. But, if she isn't looking at me, then maybe I could take it off quickly and she'd never notice it. On the other hand...I can't tell if she's looking, until I take it off! Then again, if I never take it off I'll never have to know if she was looking or not. On the other hand...it's very hard to breathe in here.(he removes his sack)Whew! She's not looking at me! I wonder why she never looks at me?'


This monologue could be aimed at teenagers and adults. We have the connotation that this boy is attracted to this girl because of the way he behaves - 'SHE'S LOOKING AT ME!!' Everyone has most likely gone through the phase of sitting in a canteen and noticing someone they like, look at them. Therefore it has the impact of appeal and entertainment as everyone has gone through this situation and can find it humorous. This creates a connection between the boy and the audience. The purpose of this monologue is to understand how the character is feeling. This monologue is written in an informal register which is suitable for the character and the audience, as the younger viewers would be more appealed to the informal speaking (and in fact even adults could find this appealing). The text uses non-standard language and abbreviation - 'I'll'. However this also includes colloquial register because we often speak abbreviating words unless we are in formal circumstances. Although this musical was produced in 1967 we can still notice this register through words such as 'fool'. 
  We can establish that this monologue is fast paced due to all the short sentences and repetition of rhetorical questions. We can infer that this boy is generally confused and doesn't know what to do as he repeats -'On the other hand...' as he is thinking about what he is doing from two perspectives. These techniques help the audience feel synthetic towards the character as he simply has no idea what to do. Generally lunch time for students is the best part of the day, as it is a break from work and stress. But this character finds lunchtime 'the worst time of the day' so we can infer that perhaps he doesn't have any friends to socialise with and this first bit of eye contact with this 'red-headed girl' is a big step in life for him. We can tell that he is insecure as he even refers to himself as 'a coward' which is followed by 'she wouldn't even think of looking at me' which suggests that he may find it hard making friends and socialising with others. 

Armstrong and Miller – RAF Pilots – D Day

Armstrong and Miller – RAF Pilots – D Day

This comedy sketch mainly uses informal language – ‘this is it chaps’. However between the two main characters they talk with a colloquial and intimate register as they are friends and understand one another’s sense of humour –‘he must be a colossal gaylord’, ‘you talking about my granddad?’. We can tell this is highly unrealistic as the time period they are from wouldn’t have used such modern language and phrases which they have used in this video –‘blud’. Unrealistically they are talking about going to the beach to have fun, although they are there for a war. They use phrases such as: ‘I was gonna get chips and shit’ which is a stereotypical thing to do at the beach and the word 'shit' informalises the speech. When Miller says this he uses abbreviation (‘gonna’) and we know it is less likely for a formal register to use abbreviated words. They both use fillers often to break up their speech, their favourite filler seem to be ‘yeah’. Armstrong usually responds to Miller with one word answers, such as, ‘lush’ and ‘classic’ which tells Miller that he is interested in what he is saying and that he is listening. These responses clearly state that they have a strong friendship, as its unlikely we use terms like these with people we aren't so familiar with. They both often use taboo language when talking to each other, they often use the word ‘shit’ to put emphasis on what ever they are saying.

Informal register to formal register

Informal to formal

INFORMAL 

‘OMG, U dun a awful job paintin my hallway!!! There was mess evrywher and me son tripped over the mess u had left!! It took me forEVER to tidy up and am not happy wiv u and my family is not either and I want a refund for the work u did (which was rubbish) or I am callin a lawyer to handle it trust me’

FORMAL

‘The job done at my house this morning was unsatisfactory. Unfortunately you had carelessly left your equipment around my house, which caused an absolute wreck and resulted in my young child injuring himself later that day. Furthermore me and my family have spent an unreasonable amount of time clearling this catastrophe you have left behind. This is not acceptable and I am utterly displeased with your service. I am requesting an immediate refund or legal action will be sought. 

Thank You.' 

Baa Baa Black Sheep

'Baa baa black sheep,
have you any wool,
yes sir yes sir,
three bags full,
one for the master,
one for the dame,
and one for the little boy,
who lives down the lane.'

This well known nursery rhyme has caught my attention because of the language used. The 'Baa baa' at the beginning of the rhyme is onomatopoeia. This catches the young children's attention as it sounds just like it's spelt and its easy for them to understand. It also uses alliteration in the first line of the stanza which easily slips off the tongue. When we read this rhyme we also stereotype that the sheep is a male without even noticing.

The next thing which i find intriguing is how it is suggesting that the sheep is black when most commonly we think of sheeps' as being white. The second line of the stanza i think is ridiculous as they're asking a sheep if it 'has any wool', obviously it does, (unless it's been shaved) but you would be able to tell that by looking at it. However i may find this silly but to children it's catchy and they're interested in this language.

Furthermore, i am guessing that the 'yes sir, yes sir' part of the rhyme is the sheep responding. We can tell that this rhyme has male dominance because of how 'we are' (the readers of the rhyme) mentioned as 'sir'. This is due to the time period in which this rhyme was formed, when they were suggested as having a higher authority.

:)